8 posts tagged “goals”

I wish there were more places and opportunities for adults to indulge in recess activities that they participated in as children.

I don't know why we have to abandon these fun things as we become older. As adults, we often feel a need to "get to the gym" when we want physical activities in our lives and some of us will step out of the gym to go for walks once in awhile, but I miss these activities that I often played when younger: I truly do not believe that the activities below have to only be activities for grade school children.

Four Square
Handball
Tetherball
Kickball
Softball
Paddleball (the sport, like Racquetball)
Dodgeball
Hopscotch
Hide-and-Seek
Water Balloon Fights
Tag / Freeze Tag / Hospital
Four Corners
Jump rope  /Chinese Jump Rope (totally remember this!) / Double Dutch
Cake Walk (during special events)
Relay Racing

and much more.

I have to jog my memory for most of the other games I played as a kid.

Kids would come back in after lunch and morning recess very sweaty and tired. These games were an awesome way to work out naturally and it was pure fun. No one thought about "getting exercise" or "burning calories" or anything of the sort. It was just about getting out and enjoying ourselves out on the "blacktop".

I definitely think this is missing in adulthood. The absence of activities like these limits us to unnatural ways of working out that often feel like monotonous, boring and tiresome obligatory chores. I think if we participated in more natural ways to be active, we'd see a great change in the way we define and fall into being fit as grownups. I certainly still like going to gym once in awhile but I really ache for very organic activities most of the time. It's just more intuitive and I'd feel much more inspired to get out and do something physical regularly.

I also think that such games always sparked creativity and imagination. Kids would make up rules to some of these traditional childhood games or create new games period. I certainly remember I did.  LOL

For example, I made up my own techniques in handball. One technique was called "buttercup". The hit would involve "getting" the ball at the right time after the other person hit it against the wall, and bouncing it three times with one hand before hitting it back against the wall for the other person to hit again. You'd score more points this way if the game was being based on a point system. Soon I had many other kids on the playground talking about the buttercup move. LOL It became a standard for some games settings/rules although very few knew I started it. Others created their own rules and hits too.

I would also play hours by myself with tetherball and handball, because these could and would be solitary games too. I loved every minute of this and I certainly miss it.

I think it would be awesome to start an "adult recess" club like this someday where groups of people could join up and play these games in a dedicated areas often.

I certainly feel that as adults we need to continue the glory of recess games and activities.

What are you truly capable of doing? How far can you take your abilities, skills and intelligence?

This question made me think a bit earlier on what I like to call, "Mastery of Potential". I've always been intensely fascinated by what you can get your mind to do and how far you can push it. I don't think many people come anywhere close to seeing what they can truly get their minds to accomplish.

I coined th phrase, "Mastery of Potential" for myself several years ago. Mastery of potential is an act of expanding your mind's abilities as far as possible in order to see what you can accomplish, thus discovering and mastering your true potential.

For short, i like to call this act "Mopping". If someone wants to train themselves in this manner, then they desire "to MOP" or "mop".

When "mopping" you would be exerting yourself to see and do the same things in as many ways as you can so that many areas of your brain can be developed and stretched.

Let's take an artist as an example. A traditional artist who paints and draws.

This artist is a master in painting and illustrating urban/metropolitan scenes. He or she has become very adept at capturing the common denominator of the general feeling and look of big city environments. Keep in mind that what sets this artist apart from the average person in perception here is that the average person in a such a cityscape takes their surroundings for granted. If this average city person was shown a picture of a city scene, they'd be able to point out that the scene was indeed a typical metropolitan scene with typical city elements and usual city motifs, but they would not be able to reproduce this visual understanding in an art piece like the example expert artist could.
Now although this artist has become an expert in this facet of art, there are still MANY ways that he/she are able to creatively apply their intimate visual familiarity of city environments. Basically, there are a "millions" ways you can apply a knowledge in a given area... if you truly wanted to test yourself.

    
• The artist can look at fashions often on display in urban environments and be inspired to come up with fashions that take on a city vibe. The artist would start to pay attention to even more minute details in city environments which includes what people are wearing and how they wear it.

    
• The artist can look at the type of shapes, objects and colors that are typically thematic of a city and design sculpture, jewelry, furniture that takes on that likeness. This would get the artist to truly know the nature of how furniture is constructed, how forms are three dimensionally built with clay, metal or any other material and how accessories are stylized and created in a multitude of ways.

    
• The artist can come up with theme and plots for stories that are set in urban environments with unique situations, characterizations and conflicts that are totally based on urban living. This might inspire the artist to pay closer attention to events, conversations and actions that happen in a cityscape around him/her more than usual.

    
• The artist can begin to think in animated or motion visuals regarding big city settings. The artist starts to pay closer attention to the way things move and function rather than how they appear statically appear. This will get the artist to think in actions.

    
• The artist can think of making original recipes for foods and drink that capture the quintessence of living in a large city. The artist will start to become more aware of aromas, eateries and foods in many urban places. They will begin to seek out the details for this type of multifaceted sensation.

The artist in this case can use their intimate knowledge and familiarity of cityscapes, normally used in their drawings and paintings, and find many other ways to invent and perceive the -same- area or subject. Each time he/she stretches their mind into exploring other "faces" of the same complex mental diamond, the artist becomes more aware and intelligent; more of a dynamic and profound thinker and creator. They can then function VERY flexibly. They are now riding the path of "mastery of potential".

Of course this is all theoretical. I mean it would take a LOT for someone to live in this fashion. Very -few- people could do it. It would be nonstop learning to the nth degree in the most intense and fully involved manner. You would also need discipline yourself, compel yourself to interact constantly in so many forms and could not be lazy.

You'd have to be fully motivated and highly active. Each person could do less or more than the other but I think most humans are capable of profound expression and expansion. Humans in general are capable of such amazing things and when I occasionally slip into an "alien view" of this truth, it's absolutely astounding.

I then wonder why we are inclined this way as species and I go back to that ever-persistent question, "What is our purpose here as a species?"

I also wonder how we will evolve further over time and what evolution will bring and look like. How much further can we advance collectively on this planet? Where is this all leading to (if you believe that there is a higher purpose in all of this)?

Some might say survival but if that were the only drive, we wouldn't really need to be where we are now regarding technological advancement and industrialization. There are many societies that still live in what we like to call "primitive" fashion and they do just fine surviving. In some cases, they might live less complex and confusing lives than many of us in "first nation" societies. But that's just an argument, a supposition of sorts. Who knows really. But I do know we don't need as MUCH as we tend to want and have in order to "just survive" if that's one's complete answer to my question.

Anyway, going back to "mastery of potential", I'd love the idea of incorporating a bit of that into my life; learning how to see and do things in as many ways as I can...over time of course. I love relaxing too and just being, so I don't feel this need to take it to the extreme and neglect the experience of simple relating and having fun, although I value the idea of "mopping".

In some ways I already ride that wave, but I know I would upgrade my surfboard as well as the waters I choose to surf in if I wanted to. One of my goals is to do just that this year.

Some people might be confused as to HOW to mop. To start, look at something that you think you can do fairly to really well.

Are you an accountant who is good with numbers? If so, how might you apply your skill with numbers in other ways? How about inventing a new equation, using numbers to come up with an innovation financing system for banking and doing taxes, using numbers to learn how to speed add/multiply/subtract/divide big chains of numbers in short time periods, use numbers to come up with a fascinating board game or story or use numbers to invent a personal language? You can do MANY things with your intelligence with numbers and numbers relations. Think about it.

If you are a house painter, start painting pictures, begin creating your own paints and dyes by studying how paints are made, read about the history of paints, use a completely different type of paint for house painting that might just as well or better, come up with a super paint that has winning features, use unorthodox materials for a type of "paint", begin painting with odd objects to see how the painting process can be altered for a new experience or move on to painting other objects other than houses to see how well you do in those areas and how you might see the process differently in those areas.

Mopping can also take you into entirely new areas of ability and make you aware of how related seemingly unrelated subjects or activities are by discovering new connections between things. If you sing, how might you use your singing to inspire writing? If you act, how might you use your acting skills to design clothes or even create sketches for indoor interiors that personify unique "personalities"?

What can YOU do? What does your true potential look like? How many ways can you get your brain to learn and expand?

Try "mopping" and see what happens. See how you develop and discover more about you. The possibilities are endless.

Since I was a little girl, I’ve always been captivated and intrigued by masquerades, carnivals, inventive costumes, surprise soirées, and signature birthday parties.  Additionally, I have a strong interest in concocting recipes for distinctive but tasty drinks and meals with an artistic flair and for sharing various forms of amusement with like-minded individuals.  Simply put, I revel in the art and experience of themed festivities.  All of those interests play a role in creating a themed event.

I’ve attended many carnivals and I often envision and sketch out fanciful costumes sometimes attached to wacky characters. I am also inspired by Edwardian balls, Venetian carnivals and the attire and masks that adorn attendants of these events. Over the years, my hobby in experimental recipes has led to the creation of a large list of original recipes for both food and drink to amuse myself and others. However, I have yet to carry out the fantasy of actively designing and executing a themed event of my own.

I feel that anyone can come up with an amazing and fantastic idea for a themed party. It just takes a willing mindset, a glowing imagination and an entertaining spirit.

I think many people feel very silly thinking about either attending or hosting a stylized event because by their very nature, these types of festivities encourage all involved to be free and inhibited in ways they usually aren’t. A person must be willing to step outside of his/her day-to-day code of behavior and even, dare I say, pretend a little. I think each and every one of us has some level of attraction to make-believe and pretend play, enough to where we’d like to have fun with some of the whimsical ideas that cross our minds or things that inspire us.

I also think that themed bashes can present a coaxing experience to the individuals that are often overcome by shyness. The leveling effect makes me think back to the old trick that speech instructors use when they often tell their students, before delivering an oral presentation, to imagine everyone in the class naked. I always liked to think that the objective was not necessarily about getting the student to solely desire humiliation for others, but rather to bring the presenter’s perspective back down to earth so that he or she could realize the humanity that was shared between everyone.  Decorative get-togethers can offer a similar sensation for those who are socially nervous and rigid thus making the truly intoxicating agent at a get-together not come through in the alcohol served but in the spirit of the party.

A themed party can be designed and hosted  by yourself or with a few creative and motivated friends. You have to make time to plan and gather your resources. You can literally celebrate anything. The purpose of celebration doesn’t have to be traditional or grand. In fact the more mundane, odd, or simple the concept celebrated is, the better and more imaginative a party can be.

The first step in planning for a themed party is to create a list of important planning questions.

These would be some questions that you might ask yourself and/or anyone else involved in the planning process:

What kind of theme would you base your party on?

You can come up with all sorts of ideas and incorporate them no matter how bizarre, plain or unlikely they seem.  Come up with motif and design arrangements that tie into what you choose to base your theme on.

Celebrate the current season, the month, the day of the week or an anniversary for anything you’ve done for more than a year.

Celebrate by honoring a particular film genre such as Asian horror, cult, black comedy, B movie,  film noir, silent movie or 70s vintage flicks. You can also theme a party entirely around a movie series or a single film.

Celebrate by dedicating a theme to Hawaiian cocktail drinks, boba/bubble tea beverages,  Asian or African teas, exotic fondues and wines, original pastry recipes, savory sauces and homemade jams, 50s diner foods, a certain type of fruit or finger foods.

Celebrate by designing the party around Venetian masks, RPG characters, astrological signs, colors, patterns and textures, comic book characters, a random adjective, a subculture, or an art period.

Who would you invite?

Think about people you relate best to; people who would be interested in attending a themed party and would possibly not mind helping out in some way to make the event as exciting as it could be. If you are open to inviting casual friends and other acquaintances, this is fine as well. The machination of the invitation list is up to you.

How would you go about inviting others?

In this part of the planning, you can also show your zest for creativity. You might choose to send out invitations in a way that foreshadows the style and intended festive mood for the party.  For example, if your party is going to be cop-themed, you might send out invitations that resemble parking tickets, traffic violation citations or badges.

How big or small do you want your party to be and can people bring guests?

This will be an important area to plan for because the size of your party will determine the details for so many other stages of the planning process. You will be able to figure out the size of space you will need to carry out your party, how much food and drink supply will be needed, how many invitations you will officially be sending out and how much money will be spent overall. Furthermore, if you require guests to also contribute food, drink and decorations, your guest list will let you know how to keep tabs on offerings.  Guests should also be told how many extra people they can bring.

When and where would you hold the party?

Once you figure out how many people will be attending the party and helping out, you can firm up details about where the party will be. If your party theme is based on mermaids and pirates, you might want to look into outdoor or beach venues. You can also research party locations that feature pools such as hotels, neighborhood gyms and certain resort lounges. Take this time during the planning process to also decide on the date and time of the party.  The guest list you devise should give you a clue as to when most people can make the event. Contact everyone on the list after it is firmly made and figure out a time that is workable for everyone.

Keep in mind that whatever location you choose, make sure it is fiscally reasonable for yourself and all invited.  If you create themed parties regularly, consider hosting smaller events in familiar, inexpensive and easily accessible locations.

What types of foods and drinks would be served and do others have to contribute any of the edibles?
As mentioned before, making your guest list will let you know how many people you can rely on if the party requires offerings (whether it is in the form of gifts, food, drink, party supplies and paper ware) from everyone. This is a great way to make a party inexpensive and doable. If everything rests on your shoulders, you might start to feel the idea for a party is overwhelming and unfeasible. It doesn’t have to be. In fact, the best parties usually involve guests bringing stuff in to help set up.

Should people come dressed a certain way according to the party’s theme?

Themed parties don’t always have to involve dress up and costuming although those tend be more entertaining and innovative. For example, if your bash involves marathoning through Twilight Zone films, it would be unrealistic for all of your guests to arrive dressed up as Rod Serling look-alikes. It would be cool if you could actually pull this off, but again this would be impractical in most cases. If you really desire any kind of costuming from your guests, you might require everyone to dress up in 50s and 60s attire since the original Twilight Zone series aired during these time periods.

How much money will you spend for supplies and other resources?

Once you figure out who will donate what, what your guest list looks like and where and when you will hold the event, it is time to create a budget and calculate how much of your own money you will be spending for creating invitations (even if they are homemade), buying some food and drink and getting some of the decorations. If you can afford it, if the party will not be held at your place or someone's house or if others have not been required to chip in, you might also consider expenses for where your party will be. In some cases, you could look into renting a space for the day or for a certain number of hours. If you look around well enough, you can get a great deal that can meet your budget.  If your party will be held at a club, most clubs require early reservation of a room or table which might include the expenses of bartending and kitchen services.

How long will the party last?

How long will your party be? Will it be from 4pm to 8pm, from midnight to early morning on a weekend, for an entire day or will it take place over a full weekend?

Will you take pictures and create a themed party photo album of some kind?

It is best to have a digital camera present at the party. A video camera would be better so that you can record everything taking place at your event. You can later send copies of the videotape or pictures to everyone that attended or you can use an on-line resource for uploading photos and videos. Over the years, the parties can help create a dynamic time capsule for everyone involved.

The point of planning a themed event or party is to create a new and exciting experience, honor friendships and to appreciate life in as many ways as you can. It’s something that I definitely wish to do someday and eventually often and I look forward to sharing these experiences with good friends.

I think if you are unsure about these type of experience, the first place to start is in attending a themed event that someone else has managed. Try it out for yourself and savor what the experience offers.

Let it enthuse.

Historically the muses are typically regarded as nine young goddesses of inspiration who personify and embody the arts, poetry and sciences. They were entities of song and grace that inspired people to exert their best efforts and live to their fullest potential. Additionally, they engendered harmony, prosperity and friendships.

What would it mean to become a muse in today's time? Do you have a desire to become a muse of any sort? If so, what kind of muse would you be? How do you normally find yourself inspiring others? How do you purposefully like to inspire others? My belief is that both men and women can be muses, muses can be of any age and muses can possess a number of visual impressions. The stereotype is that muses look like flawless beauties. I think instead muses possess a unique beauty of spirit; a brand of individuality that is magnetic. This might make an impression upon his/her looks or it might at first not be so aesthetically obvious but would be something that people FEEL when they come into contact with him/her.

When I mention a modern day muse, I very much mean in a real sense. Not paranormally. I also think there are muse qualities in all of us, but my focus is more in being a muse in awareness...in a way that is organically asserted and confidently activated.

I've thought about this for some time, but I'd like to consider myself a muse of sorts and I'd like to be more confidently and actively. I think in asserting yourself this way, you as the muse realize, that by natural rule, living as a muse incites more passionate living.

Unbridled passionate living.

I also think a modern day muse feeds off of inspiration in many ways too. They don't just inspire others. Inspiration becomes a fuel of sorts, in both directions. So when a muse ceases to find inspiration and to create or embody it in some manner, the muse identity "dies".

I've exercised my muse powers through Meetup.com recently. I started a group for exercise and fitness which targets women who are curvy, plus-sized and/or plump. I speak to an audience of women who are happy about and find beauty in being thicker and rubenesque in stature but would like to tone up and participate in regular exercise activity so that our fitness levels are heightened as curvy women. Our goal is not to be thin but to be healthy. This inspires a great many of women to redefine beauty for themselves and to see their own loveliness through and through.

Mingling with others, sending messages and speaking up is important in cultivating muse power and spirit. Again the aim of a muse is to live passionately, embrace living and embody inspiration.

How do you wish to do this? It can be done in so many ways:

    
• Join or start a new group based on unique interests, desires and goals
• Cultivate your own sense of style or bring it out again in full vigor
• Explore new ideas and thoughts; challenge old ones
• Define why you are beautiful in your own way apart from what society dictates and begin living in this newfound sense of pride
• Champion a new or long-abandoned cause
• Find a way to help someone realize their potential, their dreams or their value
• Do something new and different each day
• Read, listen to and see curious books, music and film respectively
• Try a brand new cuisine
• Research different lifestyles and viewpoints
• Do something you've always done the same in a completely new way
• Strike up a conversation with a random stranger and ask them thoughtful questions
• Find ways you can make society better, more rewarding and interesting
• Invent something or improve upon an old convention

Be more hands on:

We are a society that is very much out of touch with our instincts. We don't have to use and sharpen then. We live in an automated, highly technical and ever-increasing digital world. I don't put down modern and technical conventions as they have their own appealing qualities, I just think we are greatly handicapped by them through our own ignorance and lack of exploration and awareness.

So how can we really be muses of anything?

How can we really appreciate anything?

How can we really understand and FEEL?

I think it's important to keep old traditions alive because make US feel alive. Our senses remain sharp, aware and functioning. Never at a loss. Never dull.

Rather than go out to eat or buy microwave food, cook sometimes from SCRATCH or learn how to for a particular recipe. The meal will be that much more appreciated. I would even say growing one's own vegetables and fruits gives a different sense of appreciation too. I wonder how many people would consume as much meat as they did if they had to hunt and prepare it themselves.

Rather than typing a letter why not write one. A LONG one...and do it often. Why not a short story or *gasp* a novel?

Instead of drawing something on the computer, why not get the paints, charcoals, pastels, markers, pens or conte out to draw? G further and maybe create and stretch your own canvas, make your own brushes, make and mix your own paints just to see what it feels like? Use natural objects as brushes such as twigs, leaves, flower petals, and hands.

Why not learn how to play an instrument or take some voice lessons for fun to get a different appreciation for music and singing? Even just reading about the history of music can change one's perspective.

Rather than renting a movie for a particular title, why not go read the book?
Rather than seeing a movie, why not go see a theatre production with live actors and music?

Rather than reading about a particular culture, country or city, why not plan a trip someday to visit that region to get a real sense of the area? Learn the language?

Why not look up some craft projects and get busy with them and get your hands dirty? Try to make an article of clothing for yourself, a piece of jewelry, your own sculpture or piece of dish ware or a bath and beauty accessory (creams, lotions, soap, shampoo, perfume)? Include stuff like making your own butter, cheese, wine, spread, jam, jelly or oil?

You get the picture. I love stuff like this. It is important to hone desires for these things and to find ways to incorporate these types of activities and a quality of curiosity into your daily living. Make them a part of your life; necessary, natural and therapeutic rituals to fully activate your muse power and spirit.

Upon further thought, embracing yourself as a muse also inspires more love and appreciation for self. You really start to admire your own brand of beauty in and out and acknowledge how valuable it is in its own right...what it can do, what it means and how it can inspire and compel many.

So my recommendation is to begin embracing yourself as a muse, in the ways it best unleashes and suits the true you regardless of age, gender, sexuality, appearance and so on.

No need to wait.

Begin now. See and explore your beauty in all its glory and OWN and USE it.

Sometimes when I am observing, let's say, a political debate...I'll realize that I don't have enough information to really form an opinion or to even know what I think, in depth, on a particular issue. It has nothing to do with my capacity for understanding but rather the lack of possessing enough data in that arena. I also realize that if I took the time to gain more knowledge and information on a given topic, that it will allow me to help to foster greater understanding. I would be prepared to offer my view, to try to see the "bigger picture" by looking at all sides, to form analogies where analogies might not have been created and to perhaps fuel epiphanies for both myself and others. I feel I have the potential to do that and that this is where my part as an instrument also comes in but first I must process more information on a given subject. In order to really think about something on your own requires more information to work with. There's so much to absorb.

When I think of how much there is to learn, it can be overwhelming...but I also think it's amazing and inspiring. I feel this way when I enter bookstores or libraries. I feel this intense sense of urgency...like I just want to open up the top of my head and dump everything inside all at once.

But of course that's not possible. I do, however, tend to prefer the autodidactic approach when it comes to learning and seek and use resources accordingly. A good place to start would be to make a list of books I'd like to read and order them through Amazon...and check off items on that list as I complete each book. I also don't strive to just read or know about things I am comfortable or agree with. You can't gain understanding and and cultivate and gain awareness by doing that.

This would fit well into the idea of doing and learning something new -every- day.

Why not utilize potential energy? I don't think most people do in a progressive sense. We get wrapped up in so many mundane and petty dramas. It's blinding. It's distracting and over the span of our lives, it might tragic and wasteful.

So where do I want to take my writing? What do I see for my future?

Well, that's the thing. There are so many roads to take but the first ones that come to mind are in the realm of:

1. developing a story for an RPG game (ideally for a console)
   
2. setting up a strong foundation for character profiles and the world they inhabit (series of children's' books or novels)
   
3. screen writing for television
   
4. detailed and descriptive content for creating a lifestyle brand out of my Pink Laughter Kingdom world concept
   

These are some goals I'd like to accomplish. Right now, goal 1, 2 and 4 take center stage and in that union, 1 and 4 are the biggest targets.

I don't have all of the answers when it comes to how I will accomplish these goals. Like I mentioned before, this is all new territory for me. So I am learning as I go along and finding out how I will organize some of these plans....all the while acclimating to the writing process again.

I keep thinking of the quote, "If you build it, they will come." I certainly think that applies here.

As for Pink Laughter Kingdom, I realize this is going to take awhile. I will need to do a lot of research for referencing. For example, if I am going to talk about the social and political structure of the kingdom, then I need to look around at information on actual social systems of past and present to base this on. The intent is not to completely copy but to get some foundation and to innovate from that point on. This is like building a micronation. So I must think about bartering systems, form of government, currency, flag, rules, laws, principles, colors, culture and much more.

So far, I have the general idea developed for the origins of Pink Laughter Kingdom and I have a few character profiles fleshed out. I have more characters established but they are just in illustrative mode at this point. I need to take time to figure out how to build their profiles so that they fit in the world design plausibly and with other characters that have already been developed.

Inspiration comes from so many sources - experiences, nature, people, events, etc.

Lately, I've been looking at a lot of inspiring websites and businesses. I connect with a kindred energy when I sense and feel it. You can discover a lot about yourself, your true goals and passions when you pay attention to what you are drawn to. Patterns can be acknowledged and analyzed and further clarity becomes a result.

I was talking my fiance Andrew about inspiration and also about competition yesterday. What does it mean for someone to be competitive when they aspire to reach a goal or better define themselves?

I don't necessarily see competition as bad or even destructive, but I do think there are some delusions involved in how some people view competition in themselves. For example, I remember talking with a friend and he mentioned that he hates when others are competitive and that this world would be better off without that kind of drive or focus. I asked him if he saw himself as competitive and he said, "No, I am not really competitive, although I do try to top myself and that's different." I told him that was competition, but just directed in a different sense and I also mentioned that he'd be surprised to discover how that inner sense of urgency is often fueled by external factors. It's impossible to be absolutely free of that as a human being or a life form period. On a very basic level, it's what defines some function of life and also what makes us able to survive through better adaptations.

I explained how competition with others, in the realm of individualism rather than collective consciousness and being, is not really about "others"...it IS essentially about oneself; the preservation, survival and betterment of oneself through a mode of vicarious direction which reveals values and self-truths. A competitive target could be anyone and anything...it's just a mirror. So again, it is essentially about self. Some people are more or less external in this mode, but that's just a different mode of how competition functions. I also think that targets of competition can't really take or be given any personal credit given what I just mentioned...because they are mirrors. If it's not that particular situation or person, then it will be another...given that whatever is valued is present.

I thought about this because as I was looking around at sites and profiles of people that I admire, I felt inspiration but I also felt a twinge of wanting to compete. I analyzed that and saw that it came back to the vicarious mode. There are desires inside that create standards and I wish to reach and eventually surpass those standards because it all plays a part of how I desire to define my life. I feel that definition comes from who I think I am as a person and what I think my life purpose is and should be.

If one can look at this process of analysis, one can find out if components in this "formula" create a good result or link up. Look at what makes you respond, compete, feel inspired and so forth. Look at the inner pull involved in these expressions/feelings and see if a set of standards can be realized. Once those standards are realized, think further about life purpose and self-definition and decide whether or not this all really reflects who you think you are or who you think you should be. You might have to do some "retracking" and restructuring and what comes to be realized might not even be pleasant or make sense. This sounds very exact and sequential although the process is more quantum in nature. I think it's an important process to put oneself through. Discovery and epiphanies will come about for sure and it won't necessarily be instant...but it will be progress nonetheless.

On a more show n' tell note, here are few sources of innovation that I feel a connection to and am inspired by:

Illustrators/Designers Vicki Wong and Michael Murphy of Meomi
Illustrator Simone Legno of Tokidoki
Jewelry/Fashion Designer Tarina Tarantino
Illustrator(s) behind Indeepop

There are many more to list, but I'll keep the list brief...for now.

I've been able to read about the history of artistic development and ambition of some of these artists and again I find them so inspiring. I've been working on Pink Laughter Kingdom more actively in the last month, particularly with character development. Character development is central to creating a world identity. The Pink Laughter Kingdom concept has been in my head for so long and it's time to really push it to the next level.

In an effort to further articulate many of my visions in this realm, I will be going into an intense mode of self-education and development. I decided to check back with Gnomon School of Visual Effects for 5 week and 10 week class sessions as I work at home. The classes are 500 dollars each so that's not too bad for 5-10 week sessions. I'd like to develop my skills in gesture, character and figure drawing, by taking some of these classes during the weekend if possible in the middle of the week, because I have a lot of ideas for character development that involve stronger skills in this area of illustration. Additionally, I think Santa Monica College has some interesting weekend classes to look into.

As I mentioned before, I'd like to develop more skills in the area of web development as well. Nothing intense or big as I am not aspiring to be a full-fledged programmer of course. I just seek development that will further help me to be self-reliant in my design projects and as an artist with greater technical skills. I am trying to lessen that chasm I spoke about in a previous entry...between artistic vision and realization.

Cool site (I so love designer toys!)...it is in Japanese, but there are many figures to look at in the products section, once going further into the site.

Good Smile Company

I haven't done much writing for self lately and I feel so much better when I do it. I think I will do this more often by either keeping some private entries with this journal or using one of my other journals to write in for self-actualization and insight.

It is scary to suddenly realize that the room you are in is much much bigger than you imagined. It can be interesting in the sense that you get to explore more territory and discover new things, but it is uncomfortable because now you are challenged to get acquainted in a completely new environment, or the structure of one, than one you've been used to. The environment you've been in has even been a part of shaping how you self-define. With a new room structure or expansion, you have to redefine yourself in very demanding ways. It requires strength, bravery, honesty and assertion. Most people are very uncomfortable with that - highly so. They'd rather pretend as if the room they are in is the same when it is not or deny that any extension exists or could exist. They'd rather stay stagnant and limited in growth. So the world and self becomes defined very static designs.

Yes change and growth along with self-realization is very disquieting and even terrifying sometimes for some, but I'd rather face that than to remain repressed and in constant delusion...holding onto this as a religion of some sort. That to me is terrifying. I can't bring myself to accept that kind of limitation or ignorance and I can't naturally see staying in it once I've seen more of something. How could I?

I seriously can't see a meaningful life without self-insight, growth and awareness...because everything you'd stand for, believe, know or claim would be based on nothing. You are just going through the motions and prentending there's a strong and fitting identity but it's just a constant state of identity moratorium or at most it's need to feel secure and safe, but agai this kind of security can be stifling, smothering and even destructive. I believe a life purpose can't be defined or realized in this state either. Well one that is truly one's own. Your choices can't ever be the right fit because to know is to harmoniously choose. I believe this is each person's journey, or at least it should be...however it develops and wherever it leads for them uniquely...but it should be a journey and challenge we all have the courage to face nonetheless.

If I had to say what my purpose (or purposes) in life was...I'd say it was to create, invent, learn and inspire...generally put. I state this generally because there are many concrete ways in which I can do these things. I do sense a strong writer's path within and I haven't fully tapped into that as I've always wanted. I wrote more in the past with utter compulsiveness but over time, that slowed down and I got distracted by other things - basically the calls of society/trying to make a way and fit within this machine, this network, this system. I've always known that I've been drawn to creative expression, art and so forth and I know that I have a spiritual purpose. I can define my path of purpose to this degree so far but I still need to invest more time to myself to further define and carve. I am not confused or ignorant of my direction and the elements of my purpose. It is this...

I have a lot of energy...it's very intense and it's explosive, however, it's all over the place and I need to harness it. So it's a blessing and a "curse" all at once. I know this.

I also know that some things about myself will continue to alienate me from many people when it comes to connecting on a deep level. I can easily be frustrated due to this and I know I can get quite impatient but as someone mentioned to me lately and validated what I knew, (and this is true) my challenge is then to learn how to communicate and relate to some people in a way in which my expression is best understood and to not assume my view is automatically decoded or even shared. Not everything is quantum in nature for most people and I have to remember this. I guess in my own way, I can struggle with intolerance. This is nothing but awareness to admit and realize...without any ego or agenda to brag or illuminate myself in a boastful manner. This is just my reality and my experience and I know it will continue to be...but I am interested in continuing to broaden my horizons and my communication abilities.

The beginning of the year is the beginning of the year, but psychologically it's a nice way to highlight or revisit goals, so I will do this and I look forward to that.